I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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