My cat gives me a boner
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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