Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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