After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
