well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
