My brain says no but my pants say off.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
