I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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