You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
