booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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