Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
