My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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