Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
