he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
