You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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