Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize