don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This house was built for laser tag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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