i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize