i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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