there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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