so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
