U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
