Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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