quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
