The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
why do cheetos always look like penises
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.