i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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