I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
