take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
