just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
