I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
