i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this just has baby written all over it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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