I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
