Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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