Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
