Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
