I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
