I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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