it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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