Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
is that a dick in a sweater?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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