i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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