you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
