he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
