Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
