Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
