Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The adults are the big ones right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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