I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
