Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
