Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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