but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
