stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
