I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
