Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
