Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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