she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
