is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
