I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
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he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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