Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
