you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
