and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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