I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
