this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
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I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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