You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
