We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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