How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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