Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
