we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
